My Gay Boat Cruise - Post 3 - The Californians

On a cruise ship, if you want to eat in the fancy, la-di-fucking-dah dining restaurant, you have to sit at a big table with a bunch of people you don't know.

And since I was doing this cruise by myself, I had no one else to sit with me.

They put me at a table with a bunch of guys who already knew each other - great - I'm the one man out.

The guys were very nice, and like any gay conversation with 30-40 year olds, the topic quickly turned to real estate. Oh yeah, right after we talked about mortgage interest rates.

Generally, I don't tell people I make porn. As soon as I do, (if they believe me) then that's the only thing that they will talk about. You could have a doctor at the dinner table who saves the lives of children in Africa. People will ignore him and ask me where do I find my models and if I have sex with them?

Anyway, I was going along with the real estate topic, because I didn't want to bring up porn and I already downplayed the vegetarian thing (another bad dinner topic).

They asked me how much was my rent. "I own", ( I said, trying not to sound like, 'I own, fuck you very much'. What? Do I not look like someone who could own their own place? )

"My place could probably rent out for about $1,800/month."

Heads nodded.

"And how many square feet do you have?"

Here we go, I thought.

"Well, it's a decent sized one bedroom, downtown Manhattan, about 500."

The forks dropped on the table. Their mouths were open.

One spoke up, "I have one room that we just re-modeled. That's 500 square feet!"

Then I go into my New York spiel, how we don't really LIVE in our apartments, we LIVE in Manhattan, it's about convenience, not owning a car, blah, blah, blah.

By then it was dessert time. I had fresh peaches with sliced almonds in a sweet strawberry sauce. So simple, so perfect, so vegan.